You shall live forever...

The day you left was the day my heart wanted to stop beating but I had to stay here and keep your memory alive, one day I'll see you again I know, but still I miss you so much. Without you here is tearing me apart inside! I want you back because you were not ready to go and moreover I wasn't ready to let you go.
All I am left to do is, wonder why only God gets to keep the best. People think that is hard to see the most loved person in your life die but the hardest part is getting over it and moving on. When all of the sudden you realize your loved one is not around anymore, that moment… is worse than the moment when you hear the news of their death.
Sometimes you're not afraid of letting go, you're just afraid of accepting the fact it's gone. 31st July 2011, is marked as black day in our life Lala (Mir Balach). I can never forget this day as I tried everything I could do to save you, not only me but my entire family or we can say everyone who knew you tried their best but your fate had decided something else for you.
A year back, you got admission in Imperial College London and you made us all so proud. I could see the shine of success in your angelic eyes and heavenly smile. I still remember your words, “Shireen did you see Daddy was so proud of me.”
We all left for airport to see you off and before leaving you hugged me tight and said please take care of my Juni Jan (Mir Jeeyund aka Juni is my nephew who was born after 10 years of long prayer and he meant life to my brother) I smiled and said, “You take care of my Lala Jan and I will take care of your Juni Jan.” Who knew he was leaving this responsibility for me for lifetime.
As soon as he reached there he started to get depressed and we all thought that it was home-sickness but we were wrong, it was the cancer which was killing him inside. He went there and did few test alas we are still unknown of this fact that what were the result of those tests.
Soon he took a semester off and came back to Pakistan for the birth of his angel, Xyamil. She was born on my brother’s birthday and he was so glad that they both will celebrate it together but he left her all alone when she was only 6 months old. When she started to say Baba, her Baba left her for good.
On April 9th my youngest brother Murad called up and cried, “Send Ammi and Daddy to Karachi as soon as possible,” my other brother Behram asked why and the answered left him numbed. I couldn’t believe what I heard and I started crying, praying that “Ya Allah please no this not truth. My lala can not suffer from this, he just started to live his life.” Me, Murad and Behram were the very first one among the siblings who got know this bad news. Still till date we don’t say the C word for him, we just can’t. If someone ask us what happened to him we are all numbed.
He was a strong man, he never made our mom realize that he is in pain. Even when he was in ICU, when Ammi went to him, he smiled and said I am good. All that was in his mind was this that Ammi and Daddy should not be worried cause of him.
22 May is my birthday and I was in Quetta. I called Ammi and said that this would be my first birthday when you people won’t be with me. But Lala loved me so much that even in this condition, when he was under treatment he came to Quetta for my birthday. While celebrating my birthday he was on bed and was trying his best to clap and sing for me but he couldn’t as his right side would getting paralyzed due to uncountable tumours on his brains but we all were unknown of this fact.
Anyone who would come to see him couldn’t stay near him for 2 minutes as no one have seen this Prince of Mir family in this condition. They all would leave the room with sobs.
His condition was getting worse day by day. His right side stopped functioning properly. Though we had 3 doctors at home still we never thought that the evil tumours have reached his brains or maybe we did but couldn’t associate it with him…
Soon we were in hospital and the doctor suggested for an open brain surgery with 20% chance of survival. We went for it. The operation last for 8 hours and this was the very first time when I was scared of losing him. My faith was getting weak with every minute that passed by. But the moment I saw him back to life, my faith got stronger and I started to believe that now I won’t lose him ever.
Unfortunately the doctors couldn’t diagnose that what was the sarcoma of cancer, his all organs were functioning perfectly alright. It was such a harsh time for us that with his every test we would literally pray to God that please the reports are not clear so we know the sarcoma of his cancer.
Friday 29th July, 2011 I was watching TV in my dad’s room around noon when suddenly my phone rang and all I could hear was screams and crying, I turned blue for a while and shouted can someone tell me what happened please. My eldest sister cried out loudly, “Shireen please go to mosque, go open the Holy Quran, do anything you can but save Lala. The doctor just called daddy and said he is not well.”
I went running to my room, my hands and feet were cold and I was shivering, I opened the Holy Quran and started to recite it loudly with my trembling voice. I tried my best to finish some verse but my voice was not helping me. I closed it and hugged it tight. I looked up and said, “Allah please take me instead as, I have nothing to lose here but he has his family….”
But Allah knows better what He has to do. It was that day of my father’s life when he was asked to sign on consent forms, that the hospital will not put Lala on ventilators when his natural breathing will stop. When I got this news it was the very first time in my life when I thought my dad took a wrong decision but now I know, he did the right thing as lala would have been in more pain and he never wished for such life.
Sunday 31st, July 2011 we started our day normally, I was really happy as I was about to finish my wazifa which I started on Friday for lala’s health and was sure that this will make him better. But somewhere I was feeling as if something is missing within me which was making me shallow but I kept ignoring this fact. It was around 7:30 pm, when my brother Behram came to us and said, “I am telling you something but please don’t panic as its Allah’s will and we can fight with Him” as soon as I heard these I knew the news has arrived I stood up and said no, no and he said, “Yes, Lala has left us for good.” The world seemed to stopped, everything turned black and I skipped a heartbeat but before I could react my other sister Simeen fainted and then I had to be strong for her as she was already a patient of AVM (Arteriovenous Malformation).
Then the rest is all about pain and unlimited pain which we all are going through. His last moment could not be reflected better then what Sadaat (my brother) did, who was with him when he was leaving for his eternal journey:
”Lala is such an angel that even the devil would love to die for him. I have walked with that angel on the streets of London and since I got back here nostalgia has clogged my life. A year ago we both landed here, I could see a promise in his eyes and a sense of accomplishment on his face. He was about to embarked on a journey he always dreamt off.  I said to him Lala you make us proud by going into of the elites institution of world, he replied there is more to come.

Now I was looking at him lying on the bed with a lifeless body but a set of eyes full of life. “Sony I am missing London I want to go there and party like we use to do, “ I replied dun worry Lala we will go and I  hugged him so that he should not see the tears in my eyes and I felt his heartbeat singing these lines.
“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure.”

He loved Asya (his wife) endlessly and the feeling was mutual. She knew he was departing but she never let him assume the feeling. He never let go off her until she gave him the consent on the faithful day.  She came to me and said go to your brother he is not good and I knew the moment has came which I was rebuffing since morning by sleeping when the doctor declared it’s the end of road for him. I rushed to the room with dad and Murad, everyone knew the time has arrived but still we were all hoping for a miracle. But miracles only happen in films and books.

We entered the room doctors and nurses desperately trying to save him surrounded the bed. Murad and dad left the room, as it is hard for anyone to see the loved one dying. I held his hand and start calling his name he opened his eyes half shut and there was no trace of life in them but a sea of unfilled desired. My soul ached to death on my helplessness and tears started oozing out he again opened his eyes and command me not cry, as he hated crying. I held his hand tighter and tried if  we could transact souls but he was not ready for the trade.

I kept on smiling for him till he took his last breath. As dad entered the room Lala looked at him and left us void. He didn’t swapped the souls but just before dying reassigned all his unfilled desired to me and asked me to realize them. He is angel and angels belong to heavens that why he left us to go to his real home.  He died when he was still living having a smile on his face and love in his heart.”  

Edit, Edit and Edit...

I still remember the day when I completed my Bachelors and my dad wanted me to step in the field of journalism. It is his passion and he wanted someone from his kids to take his legacy ahead. I am the youngest one so I was his last hope. I couldn’t say no to him because I knew he can never take a wrong decision for me.

I have been in this field from last five years. Journalism was a part time job for me before I came here. I was basically a communication skills instructor and second time I did journalism. But after taking journalism classes here I have made up my mind that once I get back home I will Insha’Allah for sure makes journalism my full-time job.

Before I came in this class all I knew about journalism was writing, writing and writing with accuracy and perfection. I never thought that Multi-media class will make me Multi-Talented. I thought that using video as a source of news is only for the television services. But since now the world has changed and everything is getting electronic so we have to switch to it.

The most interesting skill that I learnt in this class was telling a story through slideshow. I love taking pictures but I never thought that as a journalist I can use this as a journalistic tool and give people a better idea that what I want them to see and learn. It’s human nature that until and unless they don’t see something that can only image about it but if they can see a picture of it; they will have a better understanding of that thing.

Today my project coordinator was discussing with me that new students who got selected for the same scholarship that I am, are really excited to come and wanted to know that what kind of clothing they should bring. “I kept telling them that you people have to dress in layers but they never got my point till I send them pictures of you all which were a perfect example of all kind of clothing,” said she. So this example proves that picture always makes the thing clear.

I also learnt that how can storyboard help us to sort out our story in a better way. It gives you a sense of creativity. With every new storyboard you have better idea and each time you look at the old one then you laugh at yourself thinking why I even thought of doing this way.

I learnt about video and audio editing from my internship at Voice of America. But I applied them here. I polished my skills in this class and that’s why I could make my 30 minutes long video, a two and a half minutes vlog which hopefully will get a good grade (finger-crossed).

Last quarter when I was taking copy-editing class I thought only copy editing is tough but thanks to my multimedia class it taught me a good lesson. Now I seriously know why these editors earn so much, it’s all because they work so hard to give good products.

I am so sure that once I get back home I will work as a video editor because it’s seriously so fun. Though I get insane at times but when I see the final product I am so happy that I feel like doing it again.

Now let’s see what luck brings for me but I am hopeful after attending journalism classes for three quarters, working with college newspaper and doing internship at two major organization: Voice of America and City Hall Everett, I have learnt many professional skills that will help me throughout my life.

BBC News

These days I think everyone and anyone can make website for them and start up an online business or newspaper. But when someone really works hard for something, they do want to get noticed and get appreciated by others. I was really impressed when I got to know about Online News Association which "is a leader in the rapidly changing world of journalism; a catalyst for innovation in story-telling across all platforms; a resource for journalists seeking guidance and growth, and a champion of best practices through training, awards, community outreach."

Last year, they announced 30 outlets in 27 categories.

BBC News won the award for general excellence in Online Journalism, in the category of large site. I personally believe that they do deserve this award because since I was a kid I remember everyone in my hometown waiting for the most trustworthy news from BBC News. They are usually the first one to report any news and as far as their website is concerned then its really user friendly. the color combination is very good, it doesn't pinch your eyes and apart from that it really neat an easily scannable. Everything is divided in categories and as soon as you open the page you know where you will get your news that you are looking for.

The thing that I really liked about this website is that unlike others it doesn't have any flashing or popping things coming up as soon as you open the page. The breaking news comes in very neat and clean red bar with white fonts but I think it would have been better if the background was not red because its kind of pinchy but that's going with the theme so it can be ignored.

They using bullets for listing which is good and the curation of the news is good but could have been better if it had more useful links.

But overall I feel they deserve this award because they have always shown excellence in news reporting.

Entrepreneurial Journalism

Though I have been reading the book “Entrepreneurial Journalism” by Mark Briggs for quite a long time but still I couldn’t find a prefect meaning for entrepreneurial journalism. I asked many people that what entrepreneurial journalism is. After asking a variety of journalism students that what they thought about entrepreneurial journalism, I realized that there really is no clear definition. It was interesting, however, to hear different interpretations on this idea. 

To me entrepreneurial journalism is to be your own boss and earn money with your creativity. To make journalism easy not only for you but also for those people who are lazy enough leave to get themselves a copy of newspaper or think subscribing for newspaper costly.

I came across a lot of website that did have the element of entrepreneurial journalism but the two sites that I am going to explain are good one according to me.

The first one is Hacks/Hackers which is “an international grassroots journalism organization with dozens of chapters (and counting) and thousands of members across four continents (and counting).” Their mission statement explains it all that what make this site entrepreneurial i.e. “Our mission is to create a network of journalists (“hacks”) and technologists (“hackers”) who rethink the future of news and information.” They are creating network for all the news freaks so they have a place to network so they can make a bright future for journalism.

The second one is Tow-Knight Center for Entrepreneurial Journalism which helps to create a sustainable future for quality journalism in three ways:

·         By educating students and mid-career journalists in innovation, entrepreneurship, and business management;

·         By researching topics relevant to the development of viable economic models for the new digital media;

·          Funding, developing, and nurturing new journalistic enterprises.

I think the video and these two examples will give you a better idea that what entrepreneurial journalism mean and how can we benefit ourselves from it.

Why Voting is Important?

Final Project

The topics for my final project are:

1.     1.   How is the childhood effected when the kids’ moms are working or go to school? I am planning to go to Early Learning Center of our college and interview few teachers and see if kids are willing to talk to me as well.  Then I will interview the moms and ask how they cope up with the stuffs.

2.       2. The second idea that I have in my mind is that I will go to Volunteers of America and highlight the aspects that how recession is effecting the people or maybe I will highlight that how the needy people are being helped. I will interview the manager there and see if the people who are coming there are willing to talk to me.

I might change my plan if something better comes up in my mind but I am pretty sure that I will go either with one of this.

Storybook+Blackboard= StoryBoard

Hmmmm what is a storyboard. I have read a lot of storybooks when I was in school and have seen my teacher writing about them on the blackboard but when did they both combine? Let me think what can be a storyboard. What the name suggest me is that “it’s a board which contain a story in it.”

But let me Google it and find out that either I am right or not.

“A storyboard is a sketch of how to organize a story and a list of its contents.

A storyboard helps you:

• Define the parameters of a story within available resources and time
• Organize and focus a story
• Figure out what medium to use for each part of the story”

This social media has made the life of journalist easy as well as competitive as well because we so much to do to stay with the flow of time. We are always on are toes and ready to report and write and try all the new tools available for us.

So this new tool is fun to use but a cranky too at time if we don’t use it properly. Before you get started just a clear vision that what are you going write about and where are you going to capture the picture.  You should divide the story into a logical, nonlinear part such as:

• a lead or nut paragraph
• profiles of the main person
• the event or situation
• any process or how something works
• pros and cons
• the history of the event or situation
• other related issues raised by the story

Now a day we can easily get ideas from websites that how can we start out storyboard such as getting a template will be very useful for the beginners.

I think storyboards are a great help to understand the story in a better way because we have the pictures and the captions as well which make the ideas more vivid in our mind and it doesn’t let the audience get bored.

Especially with the youth who are so much addicted to their computers this is a good source to let them get to the news.